What the hell do I write about? I wish I could yell at the top of my lungs, give out hugs, call my family, say I love you to everyone.  My heart has ached all day,how I feel tonight in my heart. On May 15th, I wrote about Jane Mitchell and her daughter Gretchen – Blog Post : An unsung hero, daughter battling cancer, will you dance?

At 12:26 am Gretchen’s soul took flight to the heavens above, leaving behind her husband, two baby girls, and her mother Jane. From the time it took me to write that sentence, I have stared at my laptop, from 46% to 5% still can’t articulate.

I recall our many phone calls, the most gripping before today was when Jane texted me that Gretchen was ill again, I had to pull over as I became numb while driving home, staring aimlessly at my surroundings. Thinking of that moment still brings me to tears as I type this.  I began to type, Jane was… but Jane IS strong, optimistic, loving, and persistent. Jane held tight until the end that Gretchen would be okay even as optimism began to fade, I can still hear her southern charm accent talking about her baby’s girls.

The news today brought back heart tendering moments in my life of the crushing feeling that loss brings. My mom took flight in 1993 when I was 13, I have tried to overcome my fear of abandonment and rejection but it’s a battle each day. My close friends understand how I look forward to things, the opportunities to build memories and when they end I solemnly reflect, even on the happiest of occasions, a vacation, Jet Drag, or company flying back home to Chicago. Everything ends, but it’s the journey we take that makes all the difference.

My Tuesday Takeaway, our time on earth is finite yet everyday we must take advantage of every opportunity to make a positive lasting imprint on the world around us. For then our lives become infinite.

While Gretchen is no longer with us this evening,  she soars above us free of pain and suffering. Part of Jane died today, I love you Jane, you are in my prayers, text from May.

Celine Dion wrote a song called Fly about the loss of her niece Karine from Cystic Fibrosis. I saw her perform this haunting song live, it especially holds true for a parent who lost their child all too soon. Takes about 30 seconds for the story and her singing in this 1997 video.

“Fly”

For those with Spotify –